Day 23: The Art of Being Unmarried & Something about Marriage

I have written about this some time ago.  (If you go through my archive, it is a series back in June 2013.  There are 5 entries.)

I try not to obsess about it.  Rather, now that I am older and wiser and more secure in who I am, I learned the art of being "unmarried".

Let's just joke about it.

Some other unmarried people might asked, "Really, what the freak is wrong with me?"  I once asked that question before.  Am I just too short, chubby, Asian, dumb, too smart?

But the problem with asking "What's wrong with me?" is that it's a question of being toooooo self-absorbed in yourself.  You really take yourself too seriously, analyzing the wrongs in your life and never fully appreciate everything else you are good at or enjoy.  Most importantly, you start to question God's intention in your life and focus too heavily on the earthly eros relationship instead of your love relationship with God.

A few years ago, that clicked in my head.  I focused too much on myself.  I mean, I still loved God but God had to hit me with a frying pan.  If I didn't love God, even a little bit, that wouldn't have happened.

So, I thought... I'm nice, cute, educated, make a decent amount of money, I own a house, I have a car, I exercise regularly, I enjoy being outdoors.  I hate shopping sometimes, I despise soap operas and chick-flicks.  I rather sit at a bar, pub, or tavern, drink a beer and eat wings while watching a sporting event (preferably American football but I can settle for associate football).  I go to an awesome church, secure in my faith, and do a lot of charitable work around Charlotte.  So, there is nothing wrong with me.  I just need to get my perspective straight, and be thankful for the things God has given me and the continuing discovery of the things that I never thought I would enjoy.

And I started to think, something is wrong with society, which is a fallen world.  So much is stressed on the "singles" finding that special someone.  When all you need is God.  My focus totally shifted but it took some time to get to the point I am now.

So, switching from "me" to "Him", I started to recently joke about it to a degree.  Maybe not get too cocky or arrogant about it.  I'm sure I'll find some humorous ways to joke about myself.  :)

Something about Marriage

However, don't get me wrong.  What do I think about marriage overall?

When I was growing in my faith as a young Christian, I was in a great church that focused on good and holy relationships with friends.  I learned a lot about marriage through observation of Christian couples in the church.  There were a few that had their ups and downs and had to go through counseling but overall, it set a precedent and foundation on what I need to strive for. I truly love and respected these couples, what they had gone through, and what they can share to young college Christians.  And I will say this:

Marriage is a covenant.  

A promise to uphold God's love in the marriage.  A representation between our relationship between us and Christ.  Just as it is between woman and man.  (Ephesians 5:32 - This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.)

I find some people who enter into marriage (whether you are a believer or not) do not really understand that once you are married, you represent something far greater than your earthly relationship to your spouse.  (And to the charismatic sense, you also form soul-ties, but maybe a later thing to discuss.)  It's a very interesting thing amongst humans, really.  We are probably the only beings on earth that go through all the ceremony to get married, where most animals just do what they instinctively need to do to reproduce and survive.  Even to the very atheist, it's also very psychological event.  Relationships are not always easy and people can easily hurt people with their human, selfish ways.