I think part 2 (which is actually the first thing God asked me to pray about) is more baffling than the what I wrote in part 1 (which is the second thing God asked me to pray about)...
God asked me to pray for a husband.
What?
Husband?
No way!!!
But seriously...
I haven't dated in a long time. No joke.
I have my reasons.
I had a wonderful courtship 5.5 years ago. He and I didn't argue much. We generally work things out... I thought I was in love... But through that time, God shown me that I wasn't quite ready... And the relationship wasn't what I thought it would be. Looking back, I think I was young (if 23 is young), naive and part selfish to think that things would end up happily ever after. I had liked this guy for 3 years, and dated him 10 months, to come to realize it wasn't all perfect and cheery. I could go into much more details but bottom line... After the relationship, I felt like poop. I broke up with him, to clarify that point. But the poop part comes in that I felt selfish, and that i had wasted my time in liking this person. 2 years past (I didn't want to date.. period) and then I moved back to live with my parents.
During the time my mom was going through her challenges with cancer (3.5 years), I worked, went to church, took care of mom, house, and try to live life as normal as possible. In that time that I sought God, and try to find a church, it was a bit of a struggle to find a fellowship that I felt that I can serve in and be a part of a family. But the biggest struggle is finding a church with people of my own age.
I started to feel bitter about finding any kind of fellowship like that, and finding a man. My main pursuit was finding a church of sound doctrine (don't get me wrong) but I guess the underlying intent was also to find that special someone.
The last few months of my mom's life, I took a long sabbatical from church. I wasn't bitter towards God but felt guilty that I hadn't found what I was looking for. I felt bitter also towards the whole idea of finding a guy. I felt it was impossible for me.
After my mom passed away, my dad suggested I go visited our friend's church in Cornelius. I went and started to go to the single events. At first, I was a bit discouraged. Many of the singles were older and/or divorced. I was feeling bitter about the idea of marriage and relationships. (However, I soon found age and stage of life doesn't much matter...)
But God has His sense of humor in all of this. That's when one night last month, He asked me to pray for a husband. I thought, "okay, God, if you asked me to pray for a husband, I will!" You could imagine the confusion I had that week, that utter surprise of, "I can't believe God asked me to do this." Well, I guess it's not like eating worms or something like that.
I asked God a few times, "Where do I even start? I haven't dated in 5 years!"
God slowly taught me a few basic things to pray about:
1. the guy must be a Christian and loves God more than anything else, even his future wife and children.
2. a man of character but also to accept him as he is because as he is building in character with and for God, he will make mistakes and just as you make mistakes in your walk in faith with God
3. somewhat seasoned (although I'm praying about this one) - a guy who has been walking with God for a while, and not just off the presses (newbie Christian)
4. a guy with patience, as Christ loves the church with much patience, so must the husband loves his wife... with greater patience (ha, I added that in, but yes, he must be patient with me, or he will go bonkers; a twist on Ephesians 5, towards the end.)
Of course, I believe God also know my personalities well enough to hook me up with the right man.
And I think God will take care of the rest of the details. After reading all of this, it just seems so general but deep down, God knows me. (I think of Psalm 139. Great verses!)
