A Different War Story: A Look at my Grandmother's Childhood

My father's home where he was born in Taishan county

I was telling my co-worker a time in my childhood where my grandmother (my father's mother) would put Frito corn chips on top of my and my brother's bowl of white rice.  It was our afterschool "snack", although it was really our second lunch because we'd never finish our actual lunch in school.  My co-worker thought it was very peculiar, so I explained that my grandmother lived through the time of the Chinese Civil War.  About the time the war broke out, she was a child and people didn't have much to eat, so they eat what they can and that's how my grandmother end up eating the way she did.

I realize I never really asked any questions from my grandmother what life was like in China during the time of the Chinese Civil War.  The little that I researched about the Chinese Civil War, it started in the late 1920's between Chiang Kai-shek's Kuomintang (Nationalist Party) and Mao Zedong's Communist Party.  Prior to that the Nationalist Party had overthrown the Last Emperor.  My grandmother was born in 1919, so that would have made my grandmother 8 years old during the time the Civil War started.

There isn't much written about the lives of the people during the Chinese Civil War.  My grandmother did tell me a few things but not a whole lot.  Her family had money.  I'm not sure if they were considered "rich" by their standards but they had a considerable amount.  They had a big house with a center courtyard in the middle of the house.  She even had a personal maid who would tend to her.  The family had a few other servants who would take care of the household chores and cook the meals.  When the Civil War started, she remembered the Communist soldiers coming through their house and took all their money and jewelry to "share" with everyone else in the country.  And soon after, they had to stand in line and take food rations.  I am not sure at this point if their servants left to fend for themselves, but I heard that my grandmother personal maid stayed with her the whole time because my grandmother was still just a little girl.  She never really learned how to cook, and growing up, I remember she can cook a few simple things, but it wasn't big and elaborate.  

My grandmother lived with us when I was younger.  She was very quiet for the most part.  I think life when she was young was harsh; she never talked about it much.  I believe the Chinese people of that time during the Chinese Civil War through the Cultural Revolution did not say much about their past because of the hardship they had to endure.  I wish I can go back and ask questions, but I think it would have been difficult for my grandmother to say much about her childhood.  I actually hope to do more research about this time period and especially the lives of the people who went through this era of history.

Chinese New Year and How I Grew Up Celebrating

Happy Chinese New Year! 

恭喜發財/Gong Hei Fat Choi/Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Chinese/Lunar New Year is the most important holiday in China and the Chinese culture.  Many Chinese celebrate the holiday in China and around the world.  In the old days, the Chinese would celebrate for a whole 15.5 days from New Year's Eve until the 15 day of the first month on the Lunar calendar.  There are many websites that explains all the traditions and superstitions of Chinese New Year, so this blog is actually not about that, haha!  Whether you love or hate Wikipedia, here is an article on Wiki about Chinese New Year. 

What I am going to blog about is about my own experience with Chinese New Year.  Ever since I can remember, my family celebrated Chinese New Year every year.  Since Charlotte didn't have a large Chinese community in the 80's and early 90's, we just kind of did our own thing which is mainly eating the New Year's Eve meal and eating the meal to commence New Year.  I don't recall exactly what we ate, but I do remember eating a lot of the food.  

I remember my grandmother was very Buddhist, so she would burn paper money and paper clothes to the ancestors.  Incense would also be burned to the ancestors prior to the us eating New Year's meal.  The meal we ate was actually given to the ancestors first.  So, in a pretend way, I would imagine my great-great-great-many-greats grandfathers/mothers/uncles/aunts would come down and eat it, but not really.  Cuz you know, ghosts don't really eat our earthly foods.  Once the incense is burned, we eat the meal.

There were a lot of crazy things my grandmother would tell me NOT to do on New Year's Day: don't wash your hair, don't cut your hair, don't sweep/mop the floor, don't wash your clothes, don't throw away trash, don't shower (although in later years, we did shower [without the hair washing], because you know, if you've been cooking up to your New Year's meal, you would be stinky, and if you do sports in the winter, you would want to shower and I think that was the only exception for us grown up).  The thought is that you do not want to throw away good luck and fortune on the very first day of the New Year.  And believe it or not, to this day, I don't do any of these things.  What you can do is wish everyone a Happy New Year, good luck, good fortune and a prosperous year.  

Back then, Charlotte didn't have a large Chinese community, a Buddhist temple, lion dances, etc.  Even now that we do have a lot of Chinese people here in Charlotte, in terms of where we all live, we are a bit scattered around the Charlotte area.  We don't have a Chinatown, so there is not a central place for us to gather for shopping, eating, and social events. (Do we need one?  Eh, maybe that is more complicated to think about.)  Today, we do have a few Chinese churches and ministries in Charlotte, a Buddhist temple/community, maybe a few Chinese language schools (although I haven't heard from these groups it in a long time), and probably a Chinese student group at the local university in Charlotte, but I think because my dad has been here for so long, we've kind of celebrate more with family and a few friends.  At the local Asian grocery stores, there are lion dances held outside in the parking lot. And yes, Charlotte has a lion dance group (as well as a dragon boat group - for a different holiday).  

I have been to Hong Kong around Chinese New Year.  In early 2019, my dad, brother, and I actually went after the 15th day, so Hong Kong was still decorated with Chinese New Year stuff like red banners and lanterns.  I would actually like to go to Hong Kong/China around this time from New Year's Eve until the 15th day, just to see how folks really celebrate in China.  Or maybe even going to New York City or San Francisco, two large cities known for their Chinatowns.  

Well, that's it for my growing up here in Charlotte.  Kind of boring but growing up in a Southern city without a Chinatown, that's kind of how we do things here.  

Did the NFL Flipped a Switch?

Recently, on Monday, January 2nd, 2023, many Americans witnessed a horrific event during the NFL game Monday Night Football on the American network ABC.  The two teams playing were the Buffalo Bills and the Cincinnati Bengals.  The game started as usual, with a delayed start waiting for a college bowl game to complete on their sister network ESPN.  

At around 8:50pm Eastern time, Buffalo Bills' safety Damar Halmin took a hit from Cincinnati Bengals' wide receiver Tee Higgins, and both fell to the ground.  While it doesn't seem like a very big hit, after Damar got up from the ground, he collapsed just seconds later.  Immediately, team trainers from both teams rushed to the field, followed by medical staff, the paramedics, and the ambulance.  What seemed like forever, the ambulance finally took Hamlin off the field to a nearby hospital, leaving the field around 9:25pm.  Word got out that he actually had a cardiac arrest on the field and literally had to be brought back to life before he was transported to the hospital.  It took trainers/medical staff/paramedics 9 minutes administering CPR edto get his heart pumping again.  The game was suspended, and soon after Hamlin left the field, the NFL, coaches, and staff discuss if they should continue the game.  It was later announced that night that the game was postponed, and later that week, cancelled.

The hours following Hamlin exits off the field was emotional.  I think everybody at the game and those watching TV felt all the feels you can possibly imagine deep sadness, horrified, scared, grief, mad.  I've seen grown men cry but to see so many men on both teams cry and their faces were filled with agony made my gut wrench.  They literally saw a man drop dead on the field and then brought back to life, and I bet that was scary.  Very scary.

And something else happened over the past few hours.  People on live TV asked to pray.  The anchors and commentators at ESPN ask everyone to pray.  The Bills team gathered around in a huge circle and pray publicly.  And this also happened on live broadcast (link to video of analyst opening praying).  It was a very genuine mature Christian prayer, something that most people may not have heard before unless you go to church a lot and been involved in small groups prayers or Bible studies.  It was a solid prayer.

I thought to myself, has the NFL flipped a switch?  I remember just like yesterday how many people have criticized Tim Tebow for openly praying on the field after each touchdown.  It was a time where people are criticizing everything about Christianity.  There's always been Christian athletes, especially in football.  I know a bunch and I have read a lot of other Christian football players in the NFL.  As a Christian myself, I often wonder what's been going on in the last many years leading up to Monday night's event.  And the only answer is God has always been with the NFL, and sometimes it takes an event like this to make people aware that there is a God.  Just like Lazarus, Hamlin was brought back to life.  People were openly weeping and crying and also praying.  An in a week's time, Damar Hamlin was able to walk out of the hospital, board a plane, and head back to Buffalo, NY.  It's one of those things I have to stand in awe of God and just observe what's going on.  One of the first things he asked when he woke up from sedation was, "Did we win?" and the doctor answered, "Yes.  Damar you won.  You won the game of life."

I hope that even in times of joy that we remember God.  In our times of happiness and where everything is working out right, we need to praise God and be thankful for our blessings.  And of course, in our times of need, we ought to pray.  

New Year, Grumpy and Grateful Me

Every year I try to find something meaningful to say or a resolution for the New Year.  But let's face it, we are all human and imperfect in many ways.  So, I thought I would get this out of the way, and share with you guys my top  list of things I don't like (mostly foods)...

1. Coconut flakes.  I like the flavor of coconut (like in a piña colada) but I don't like the texture of coconut flakes.
2. In the topic of food texture, I don't like apple sauce either.  I went on a school field trip in first grade.  This was back when the school cafeteria packed lunches for school field trips.  We had sandwiches and apple sauce, and as I was eating the apple sauce, I started to gag.  I almost threw up.  Blah. 😖
3. Pulled pork shredded southern barbecue.  I really tried to like it in the past 40+ years I've lived in the South but I just don't like it.  I am more of a brisket and ribs kind of person.  Maybe I just don't belong in North Carolina. 😂
4. Crab cakes.  It's also a texture thing.  I don't know what it is about lump crab meat mixed with god-knows-what, but probably some bready milly thing that doesn't really go together in my honest opinion.  But I am also supposedly allergic to crab, even though once in a while I consume crabs.  I am mildly allergic, I guess.  
5. Eggnog.  I've tried to like it for years, just don't care for it.  I mean, does it really have real eggs?  Oh, I'll drink it if you really want me to, but nah, that's ok.  Ya'll who like it, more for you guys.
6. Certain types of parties.  I actually don't like large parties where I don't know most of the people or even if I do know them, I may not have anything to talk about.  It's an introvert thing.  One party I did go to was the right size.  I actually knew two people (the host and my friend who also came), but everybody else I've seen on social media through the host/friend.  And I think the commonality of being Christians help and we all kind of thought the same things, so it was cool.  I got to make new friends without feeling threatened.  Even though everybody came from different walks of life, we all got along.
7. People rushing me.  Being a deep thinker has its disadvantages like making decisions and multi-tasking and doing a bunch of things fast.  Actually, not many people multi-task well and to put a rushing component into the mix doesn't help me either.  I literally can get flustered and shut down mentally.. Pretty much balled up in a corner in my imaginary world.  But being a deep thinker also helps in logical thinking and understanding/analyzing risk, so I may not be good at picking lunch from a menu at a restaurant, but I might save your butts from engineering catastrophes or getting sued.  
8. People being disrespectful.  I get it that we will not always agree with each other on a lot of topics.  But that doesn't give people the right to be disrespectful.  And especially in the western society, I feel that politics and religion (the institution of religion, I should say), gets in the way of people's judgement on how they should treat each other as human beings. 

I noted these things because I want to highlight that people have their dislikes in many things in life.  Foods, politics, injustice, judgement of others, racism/discrimination, your family members, your co-workers, etc.  But even though we all have dislikes and it's easy to focus on these things, there is also so much more things to be grateful for.

Despite my imperfections, I am grateful for life, health, family and friends.  I am grateful for the foods that I do like to eat like, beef, chicken, pork, shrimp, fish, other seafoods, broccoli, cauliflower, gai lan, yu chow, bok choy, asparagus, salads, mushrooms.  I am also grateful for nature, beaches, mountains, dogs, cats, trees, flowers, nice walks at the greenway with my dog, heck, my stupid dog.  And I think if all of us focus on the things that we are grateful for, it elevates our mood and our outlook in life is more positive.  Everything is not always going to go your way, but those are the times we have to reflect on our lives and be grateful.