Birth Pains

In the Bible, Jesus is telling his disciples about his second coming.  He tells his disciples the wars, famines and earthquakes that will happen prior to his coming.  He said to them, "All these are the beginning of birth pains." (Matthew 24:8)

This has taking me a few days to really processed what happened on Monday, March 27th, 2023, at the Covenant School in Nashville, TN. I feel a deep sense of sadness but also a huge amount of anger and frustration. When it comes to guns, it seems we're still stuck with the political bull-crap that is going on in Congress. I understand that in the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution, we have a right to bear arms in the United States, but I doubt that the founding fathers of this country foresaw this coming.  It really burdens me that people should use weapons as a source to display their emotions, their anger, their hate, their frustration.  Guns are meant for defense, not to kill innocent lives for no reason.  Guns are not the answer.  Children should be able to go to school, learn and have fun, and not for their parents to worry about their safety.  

What surprised me this time is that it happened at a Christian school. Somewhere you would think children should be safe(r). I often ask, "Where has the church failed this child/person?" Maybe I shouldn't blame the church but it must be a question that has crossed a lot of people's minds by now.  

I do believe we need stricter gun laws.  We need to override some HIPAA laws and allow psychiatrist and counselors to report patients to authorities with mental issues and disorders.  We need background checks.  We need to stop people from buying assault rifles and military type weapons.  They have no business owning those unless they are working in the military.  We need more programs to address mental illness.  We need more compassion, kindness and respect to those who are going through a lot of hurt.

I do understand the 2nd Amendment.  It was a law created to protect us from real issues like foreign invasions and a tyrannic government.  It can happen.  It was created so that we can own guns to protect ourselves.  I have no issues with people owning guns as long as it is used for self-defense and nothing heinous.  I just want to advocate gun laws so that guns do not end up in the wrong hands.

We do need prayer but we also need to do something beyond that.  And most of us don't really know how to move forward, I feel.  We can only do so much to petition for stricter gun laws to our local lawmakers as well as our congressman.  But with them being divided on this issue, I don't know if this will get done.  We can only push and continue to work with them towards having stricter laws.

These are the birth pains we are experiencing today...

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once... For a Very Long While: What Hollywood Got Wrong... Again

Data from the U.S. Census Bureau of 2020 U.S. Demographics by Race
(but I made the pie chart because I'm a dork like that...)

Today is Pi (π) Day and I thought it would be fitting to start off the blog with a pie chart.  I seriously didn't plan it this way but it just happened that I was looking for a way to display U.S.'s demographics and I always like pie charts to show such information.  

A few nights ago, I watched the Academy Awards (aka The Oscars) which I usually don't watch every year. I don't watch a lot of movies but since the last few years were weird, I did watch more movies that usual.  I particularly wanted to watch the Oscars this year because the film Everything, Everywhere, All at Once had 11 nominations for various categories, and it is one movie I did see last year.  And I actually was a little surprised that so many awards were awarded to the cast and crew of this film.

I am very proud of the folks of this movie who received an Oscar, or collectively received the Oscar.  As a Chinese American who grew up in the U.S., I can easily relate to the Chinese American family portrayed in the movie.  I was that little girl, Joy, who wrestled with a lot of things, growing up with parents from Hong Kong and struggling to fit into the American culture. The movie really centered around Michelle Yeoh's character Evelyn Wang, the mother of the family, who felt her life doesn't make sense.  I think in her mind, she could have been so many other things, hence the loopy trip she took throughout the multiverse during the movie.  There were even a few scenes of her as a movie star, but it was really a flashback of her acting days in Hong Kong.  At the end, all that matters is that she is present for her daughter and her husband.

So, looking at the title of this blog, you might ask, "So what is wrong?  Hollywood actually nominated and awarded the Academy Awards to many Asians this year, and many of Chinese descent."  Michelle Yeoh was born and raised in Malaysia, but her parents are of Chinese descent. Ke Huy Quan is originally from Vietnam, but he is also from Chinese descent.  Stephanie Hsu is Chinese American.  James Hong is also Chinese American.

While this is a phenomenal year for Asians to represent, be nominated and earn so many awards, Hollywood again missed the mark when it comes to Black actors and film makers in the film industry.  So, let's look at the pie chart.   If Hollywood truly reflects the actual population of the U.S., there should be more Black actors and film professionals nominated and awarded the Oscars.  In all of the Academy's history, only 60 Black actors/actresses have been awarded the Oscars.  I know it's hard to put a percentage for the Academy Award wins (since some of the awards are for best picture and best screen play, which involves many people), 60 Black professionals out of 95 years of the awards is a very small percentage.  And having so many Asians win this year, it makes you wonder how Hollywood really view their talents.

I wouldn't be surprised if for the next 10 years, there won't be as many awards for Asians.  This might be it for a while.

The Tool of Languages

I started this blog nearly 9 years ago but never completed/published.

Languages is a very important and powerful tool in our daily lives.  It is the means and complex system of communicating to one another our thoughts, ideas, and basic needs.

Being more of an engineer and not a linguist, I draw on my experiences as an engineer to analyze how people speak in a non-science way.  Just listen.  Talk to people.  How do they communicate?

For a while now, I have this theory that learning a mother tongue (as well as home culture) can partially shape someone's psychology.  (Genetics and environment can be another factor in psychology.)

Take for instance, this TEDx talk... In a practical example, Phuc Tran (yes, that is his name) used his knowledge of the Vietnamese language and English as well to compare the differences on grammar but more importantly, how grammar effects how we think about past, present, and future, and the "what if's".  It seems that in Vietnamese, there is no "would be, could be, should be" scenarios.  It's about, "This is my life, I'm going to live it."  There is no "what if's."  What if our lives did not run on "would be, could be, should be"?  It's really a life of, "This is how it is!"

I look back on my Chinese language.  And realize some differences as well.  For starters, Chinese doesn't conjugate verbs.  Timing (yesterday, today, tomorrow, now, later) is usually placed in the sentence to indicate when something is doing when.  Okay, that might be a minor thing.  However, there are many accents and many ways and nuances of phrasing sentences in the Chinese language.

When I listen to Chinese from mainland speak Mandarin, it is very sing-songy.  There is a bounce and rhythm to their speech patterns suggesting a history of past art, poetry, and singing in the the country.  But in some ways too, a carry-over of metaphors can be heard in their speech.  I find that many from the mainland like to pepper their speech, not shaming themselves in anyway and bring dishonor to themselves or their families or even admitting wrong.  Please note, I'm being very general.  Because I do know many Chinese who are more "Western" in their thinking.

But how does all of this play into their psychology?  Much like the Vietnamese, they tend to settle for "it is what it is".  For example, if one is going through school and they are labeled or set to go through school in math and science and later going through engineering.  That's it.  That's their course and there is no turning back.  Or questioning themselves of "What if I did this?  Could I have been a chemist?"  Even if later they may find out they are horribly bad at engineering, there is no real turning back.

Then you start to segue to Cantonese.  The Cantonese people (Southern China, around Hong Kong, Macau, and Guangzhou) have the most exposure to the British, Portuguese, and Western culture.  If you can sit with a person from Hong Kong, their speech is very different.  It is what you may call "more Western".  Their language does include the "what if's" that Westerners are more used to.  Although Hong Kong still has some form of British system in education, their thoughts and language kind of steer their course more so than what a test tells them to do.  

Language is very interesting to study.  I would like to learn more about other languages and how culture shaped language and vice versa.

The Problem with Nirvana: A look at the Buddhist Enlightenment

The Big Buddha on Lantau Island, Hong Kong
(Picture taken by me in 2009)

Growing up, my dad claimed to be "Buddhist".  But what does that actually mean?  Some of the practices I've already shared in other blogs but in looking back of them (praying to ancestors, giving sacrifices to ancestors, and eating certain meals during the year) aren't really Buddhism.  A lot of these are actually ancient Chinese practices before Buddhism came but when Buddhism did come to China, a lot of things mixed in with Buddhism from Chinese ancestral religions. 

So, what is really Buddhism?  Buddhism shares a lot of similar beliefs as Hinduism.  Both have the same philosophies when it comes to reincarnation/samara, darma, karma, prayers and meditation.  But the one thing that differ greatly is that true Buddhism doesn't have any gods or goddesses that create, or destroy things on earth.  Buddhism does believe in spirits and ghost but not that any gods control anything aspect of human life.  Buddhism also differs a little when it comes to the cycle of life.  They don't really believe in a beginning or end of the universe, but rather that things have already been around for a long long time.  As Buddhism moved through Asia, other regional practices get mixed in with Buddhism, as I have mentioned earlier.

So how did Buddhism get started?  I found this great video that talks about this.  But what I want to focus on is the Buddhist belief of achieving Nirvana, or Enlightenment.  It is a separation of yourself from the pain and suffering from the world, emptying your mind and disconnecting from the physical world.  This is achieve by prayer, meditation and studying the teachings of Buddha.  Nirvana sounds similar to Hinduism in achieving Brahman but not really.  While achieving Brahman is a connection with the universe and the ultimate reality and freeing yourself from the cycle of birth and rebirth, Nirvana is just a metaphysical state of mind separating yourself from the physical reality of life, not really connecting your mind into anything.  (On a side note, Buddhist do not believe in evil, but they do believe our thoughts of greed, anger and ignorance can lead to suffering.) 

While this all sounds cool, I do have some issues with Nirvana.  Now up to this point, if you are the product of the 1990's, you might be thinking about the alternative American rock band.  Well, we are not talking about that Nirvana, although they probably achieved some aspect of that through recreational drugs. 

Nirvana of emptying your mind.  Your mind cannot totally be empty. It really can't.  Your brain/mind is constantly in action all the time, doing stuff so that your body can function.  We all have a subconscious mind and our subconscious mind is always thinking about something.  If you totally empty your thoughts and mind, you might be brain dead.

Achieving Nirvana also takes human work.  You have to follow Buddha's teachings (The Four Noble Truths), the Eightfold Path to Enlightenment, pray and meditate, and maybe at times you have to sustain from earthly pleasures like eating, or going to the amusement park, or enjoying time with family and friends.  That's why some who are really devoted to Buddhism become Buddhist monks and live in remote temples far away from society.  (But most Buddhists are like other folks.  Since I have some Buddhist family members, I know that they are folks just like us, holding jobs, buying groceries, and taking bike rides through the park, to name a few things.)  But overall, Nirvana takes work to achieve something that is temporary.  At the end, you still have to come back to the reality of being on earth, so I don't know what Nirvana really does.  

I often see Buddhism as a spin-off of Hinduism.  But in both faiths, you have to work to achieved some freedom from the physical reality of pain and suffering. Along with Hinduism, I would like to learn more about Buddhism, especially how it impacted China, the people and the culture.

The Problem with Suffering: A look at Suffering in Hinduism

Ever since I was young, I've always had this fascination with religion.  Or maybe it wasn't "religion" but it was the question about what is beyond our thoughts and world, who created us and made us who we are.  I grew up with agnostic parents but my dad would still observe some aspects of Buddhism.  I remember a time I was on a school bus going home, I think first grade, and the girl who sat beside me asked, "So, what church do you go to?"  I didn't know how to answer her because I didn't know what church is.  And she was just as confused when I finally gave her a response that didn't quite match her expectations.  Honestly, I don't know what I said, but I just remember she had a very complexed look on her face.  I didn't have a formal introduction to religion until I got to Middle School, when we started to learn about the different histories and cultures of the world.  But even then, it was very basic information.  I later went to church and came to believe in God and practiced Christianity for over 20 years.  But something deep inside me has this curiosity of what other religions say about different theologies.

A week ago, I started diving into Hinduism.  It's very complex, being a religion that is thousands of years old, with many gods, writings, teachings, prayers, and fancy yoga.  My research really stems from the question I had regarding the origins of good and evil, and it's a continuing thought/question I had about the origins of sin in the Bible (link to a previous entry I wrote almost a year ago).  I know a few things from Hinduism and thought I would start with this religion to see what they say about good and evil.  I think instead of me explaining Hinduism, there are a lot of resources and videos out there that probably can explain it better.  Here's one that I find the most informative and humorous but not too overly complicated.  This video just gives a very broad overview of the religion but just touches on karma and duhka.  This article explains things a lot better with regards to suffering. 

Hindu's don't necessarily believe there is a god that is responsible for evil in the world.  Rather, as long as people are in this physical world, they are subjected to suffering (duhka) that can be a result from bad karma, or bad actions.  And these bad actions are a manifestations of people's lower consciousness from a disconnection from gods and selfish thoughts.  As long as people act according to their darma (personal moral obligations or proper behavior according to how they are born into their current life), then they will experience less suffering later or in the next life.  And to get out of this cycle of suffering, birth and rebirth, they have to continually act according to their darma by prayer, meditation and study their religions text to achieve moshka, or the final escape from their physical reality into brahman, the ultimate reality and connection to the universe.  

But one thing that Hinduism doesn't explain very well is natural disasters that can also result into sufferings.  Like say, a landslide that wipes out a village or earthquakes.  I think Hindus will also explained that these are results from our own bad actions that cause the gods to act this way.

The problem with suffering is the shame that one has to endure during this time of suffering.  It's the question some people may asked themselves, "What did I do wrong to deserved this?" whether it's their fault or not.  It's always that feeling of bad karma because of bad darma.  It's not questioning if you have a unique soul and that you are not really reincarnated from a previous life of a person who did a lot of bad things.  And as much as people will pray, meditate, and try to do good, it's always work to achieve the approval from gods so you won't be reincarnated into a worst life than before.  It's the guilty feeling one may have even if they already right what they did wrong.  Don't get me wrong.  If you truly feel guilt and shame of a wrong-doing and you truly did something wrong, confessing your actions and making things right is a show of your character.  But carrying guilt and shame for an extended period of time is not healthy.  

I'm still learning about the Hindu religion, so I will probably dive a little bit deeper to see if they have a philosophy on love and mercy.  But all in all, the Hindu religion didn't answer my question on the origins of good and evil.  It's not really in their vocabulary, per se, but they do acknowledge that evil exist.  In a much later blog, I may do some comparisons on these theologies and philosophies to pick on the similarities and differences between the religions.