Looking to get away from the world for a few hours, I decided to go for a hike. (Although, it's not quite like the beach...) I wasn't sure how long it will take me and how the trail was laid-out. It was a very lovely hike. The sun was shining, the wind wasn't blowing so badly, and I made frequent stops to eat some trail mix and drink some water.
In my thoughts and prayers today, I prayed for my own future. Specifically, my current state of being single. I realize a lot of my friends are married, some with a kid or two. Many have their own lives and their own peer groups which involved other families. I suddenly felt alone, which I haven't really felt in a while. I know that in God and in Church, I am never alone. I do have some friends who are still single or "single again" (divorced/widowed). But there is that something inside me that says, I haven't truly connect with a few good friends in the Charlotte area.
You, who are my friends, might say, "We are always with you. Why do you say this? What is wrong with our small groups, church?" As a purple person and as a few personality surveys suggest, I'm a deep spiritual intelligent thinker who do not always let everybody into my thoughts. Truly. As bubbly, out-going of a person that I am, there is yet a deeper side of me that I only let a few in. Between me and God, I'm okay with that too.
So, let's go back to the single thing. It's probably my own damn fault. Not that I intentionally push people away. I do find a very few people interesting to talk to. But overall, and to be honestly truthful, I find some people boring to talk to. I try to be friendly. Really I do. Most people know that, I hope.
As I meandered through the woods this afternoon, I realize I want to and need to break out a little bit. I never took the time to discover... me. Most of the time I rely on my friends to produce the fun but as I mentioned before, most of them are married too. Most of the time I volunteer for charity groups and just doing. However, there were and are so many other things I enjoy doing.
I realize one thing I got out of is outdoor activities. Yes, I am a closet tree hugger (sort of), which started probably in college when I was working at the North Carolina Solar Center. The place was a solar house, built to have geothermal heating system, a sunroom to heat the house during the winter, solar panel heating system to heat the water for showering, etc, and solar cells to capture the sun's energy. It was pretty groovy. Another thing I did was work at coffee houses. I think having fair trade coffee is near and dear to my heart, yet, somewhat expensive. And I do like saving the planet, sometimes. I have a water bottle that I can refill, I recycle wherever I can, and I try not to print as much at work.
So, outdoor activities, like the hike I just did earlier today. One thing I did as a teen at a summer camp was white water rafting and canoeing. Anything on a boat or water is very enjoyable to me. And camping. I love camping but can't seem to find friends to go camping. I don't know if this counts too but I have been getting used to and like jogging. Maybe someday, I'll run a marathon. I'm still stuck on 5K's.
Recently, I signed up for a Charlotte group called Charlotte Outdoor Adventures (Facebook page here). It used to be a more active group 9 years ago (yes, I joined once before 9 years ago) but it seems dead right now. I also signed up for an outdoor group via Meet Up, so I hope this proves to be more active.
There. I'm starting to do something about this. And I hope that this will ultimately lead to a new era in my life in finding new adventures.
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