30-Something : You Will Make a Great Mother

I've been getting this comment for the past many many years.  Since my college days, I've always volunteered to work with children at whatever church I've belonged to.  Some of my first experiences are to babysitting for children who's parents are in adult homegroup. (Root groups, cell groups, small groups, community groups are also similar names for those of this type of church realm.  The church I was a part of in college called them "homegroups".)  While the adults had their Bible study time, I and my helper would round up the kids in another room and play, watch Veggie Tales (lots of Veggie Tales), read books, and etc. etc. etc.  Kid things.  I would also babysit for parents who go out on their date nights.  (Try 4 hyperactive kids, ranging from 2 years old to 10 years old).  Same things, play, Veggie Tales, read books, but then I had to make sure they are fed, they go to bed, and especially they don't kill each other.

In variations, I've done the traditional church volunteering in children's ministry and teach Sunday classes every other week.  And I've held babies.  Plenty of babies.  Changed their diapers.  Changed their clothes (burp-ups, throw-ups, and other things I'm not going to elaborate).  Fed them baby food, fed them their bottles, and lord knows how many times I have played patty cake.

But always, I get the comment, "You will make a great mother."

At first, in my late teens/early 20's, it never bothered me.  I enjoyed the compliment.  It made me feel important, that I was helpful at my church(es).  I love kids!  But as time passes on, many of my friends got married, and started having kids.

"Oh, don't worry, you will find someone soon.  Just keep praying that God will bring someone to you," or some other variations like that.

Life events happened, my mother became ill with cancer and I felt the last part of my 20's was sucked out of me.  For 3 years, I didn't really make an effort to find a young group in Charlotte to hang out with.   When my mom finally passed away, all of a sudden, I didn't know what to do with myself.  I church hopped a lot when I was in Charlotte, trying to find a group to belong too.  No such luck, for a while.

Every so often, someone will still say to me, "You will make a great mother."  You know what?  I mentally want to wring her necks (and yes, usually, the person is female.  Although I had a co-worker, male, who pointed out to me, "Aw Josey, you will make a great mama."  Thanks....)

I often want to ask in return, "But do you think I will make a great wife?  Do you think I can make a commitment of sacrificial love, to be with a man until the days we die?  Do you realize the steps it takes to be a mother?  Dating/Courtship (what have you), getting engage, getting married, being in marriage, then motherhood???"  And then it hit me that I'm asking these questions to myself.  In some ways, it was kind of sobering.  Is there something wrong with me?  Did I get this all backwards?  Wow, where have I wasted my life?

But then what does it matter?  So I often times will calmly smile and say, "Thank you, I hope someday I will become a mother..."