Non-Barbie

When I was a little girl, I was given two Barbie dolls.  I would play with them for a while but then my brother thought it would be funny to take them and yank their heads and limbs off.  At first, I felt a bit frustrated, but then I kind of join in.  I lost interest of the Barbie dolls pretty quickly and went back to playing school or house with my other dolls or went outside to the backyard to play soccer with my brother.

Maybe about the same timeframe, my family and I went to Hong Kong to visit family.  It was the summer of 1987, and I remember going through the market and saw this doll.  I asked my mom if I can have the doll, and she said yes.  That doll was (and still is) my favorite doll.  I named her the English name Mary and then gave her the Chinese name "Xiao Bo" (the Mandarin pronunciation would be "bao"; her name means Little Gem, or Precious Child).  She went with me everywhere.

Looking back at this point in time, I realize my choice of having this doll was a sense of identity.  I don't know if I knew at the time that it was a subconscious decision.  I was picking a doll that looked like me.  I wanted a doll to know my sense of self and a sense of belonging.  A sense that someone had made a doll that looked like me, and I found it around the other side of the world.  

Don't get me wrong, I do respect Barbie.  And for many American girls, they identify with her.  But not me.

Going to Hong Kong itself was a curious experience for me when I was 7; who knew there was a world full of Chinese like me?  I think it would be neat to go back and watch my 7 year-old self experience the learning and wonder of another place and finding this doll at the market.