Un-resolute the Resolution 2025

You ever wonder why we always reflect on what we've done in the past year towards the end of the year? It seems like this time of year, we reflect on what we've accomplished or have not accomplished, and make goals and plans to do better for the coming year.  Why do we not have this same reflection during the summer? Is it a psychological effect of the winter solstice?  

To dissect this a little bit, let's look at the history of the calendar.  Before the Julian calendar, the first of the year was observed in the spring which made sense.  Spring was the time flowers started to bloom, animals came out of hibernation, and people were preparing to sow seeds for harvesting later in the summer months.  But there were many calendars used around the world, and the history I found of the calendar were mainly about the calendars developed by the Romans and later the Catholic Church.  Before the Julian calendar, the Romans used a 10-month calendar which had a void of two strange nameless months during the winter months.  This calendar was messed up, and that was a big problem especially for celebrating holidays.  The Julian calendar sort of fixed this with a 12-month calendar (with 365.25 days per year, with a leap year every 4 years) and also placed the first of the year on January 1st. (January comes from the Roman god Janus, who is the god of time, transition, and beginnings.  This date is also the date the Roman consul took office every year.)  But this calendar did not take into account an extra 11 minutes each year which still shifted the calendar days.  This was still a huge problem with the seasons and holidays, especially now that after the birth of Christ and the spread of Christianity, there were many major holidays to observe and celebrate.  It was in 1582 that Pope Gregory XIII adjusted the calendar to 365.2524 days a year, which accounted for the 11 minutes.  We still had leap year every 4 years, adding a day to the calendar on those years, but every 100 years, we do not have leap year, except every 400 years.  Yikes.  But since 1582, we have not had any major shifts in days and months as we did many hundreds of years ago.  The Gregorian calendar is now used worldwide, although many cultures may still use their respective cultural calendars to calculate their holidays (e.g. the Chinese calendar is still used in China and diaspora to figure out the Chinese New Years and other various Chinese holidays).  

So, why bring this up?  I think people could have easily plucked any date from the air and call it day one of the year.  The Romans picked January 1, which is about a week and a half after the winter solstice, or a week after Saturnalia (December 25).  The Chinese calendar is mainly a Soli-lunar calendar, so the first of the year on the Chinese calendar is usually the second new moon after the winter solstice.  March 21st (the vernal equinox) could have been picked which is the first day of spring, or right on the Winter Solstice which marks the day with the least amount of sunlight but also signifies the start of increasing daylight every day afterwards.  It could have been on April 1st, which was another original date for the first day of the year.  

During this time of the winter holidays and around the winter solstice, people are already gathered together to celebrate the end of a season and/or the beginning of a new season.  Folks are already in that mood of reflection, so I think it's easy for people to look forward to a "new year" after their festivities.  However, people could easily make these same reflections and set goals throughout the year, and not just this time of year. 

Although this is the time I would also reflect on the past year and make resolutions for the new year, I would make some goals for this year, but I'm also not going to be too hard or strict on myself.  A "resolution" is setting goals with purpose and determination.  I decided that although we do need purpose, I am not going to be so determine about it.  Because we are humans, and we make mistakes, and we fall out of habits quite often.  

So, to reflect back on what I did in 2024 and set some loose goals for myself this year:

• Family: My dad's eyesight hasn't been great last year and has gotten a little worst.  In case you don't know, my dad has diabetes and glaucoma, and glaucoma will affect ones eyesight.  Even though he's been taking insulin, watching his diet, etc., his eyesight started to go out from the beginning of 2020.  He does still get depressed, which in turns really saddens me.  I do hope he finds some joy that I am taking care of him as his caregiver.  My dog is still around.  She turned 10 last July, approaching 11.  She's still a hoot, and still very much like a puppy, although she has slowed down some.  We have hit different greenways last year and I hope to go to some more when the weather turns warmer again.  Right now, it's chilly and we can still go but I don't like cold weather, and we have resorted to short walks in the neighborhood on good days.
• Reading: I had this goal last year in reading at least four books, but I only read three books.  And although you may see that as short of my goals, I called this a success because I used to love reading books as a child and youth but fell out of interest many years ago.  So, to read three books, at least I'm showing progress.  This year, I still plan to read four books, which the first three are Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A Heinlein, Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright and The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis, and a fourth book yet to be determined.  But I'm not going to fret if I can't get to all of these books, or I may even change my mind and read something totally different later on.
• Writing: I did want to write more.  I only got to six blogs, which is a far cry from the 24 blogs I wrote in 2023.  I think because I got involved with life again, in-person activities, meeting of friends, and more travel.  But I think now I know my limit of "peopling" and will focus on some more writing this year.  How many blogs and other things will I write?  Who knows!
• Travels: Last year, my cousin got married!  So my brother and I took a trip to Hong Kong, but we also did a cousins trip to Seoul, South Korea.  I think my travels last year also took me to Chicago for a workshop conference (which is one that I've been to many times, both the city and the conference), and a single Christian's retreat to St. Simon's Island, GA (more on that later).   Although I don't have those types of travel plans this year, I hope to travel to some place by some random planning. 
• Activities and Health: Never started jogging.  Well, I tried.  Every time I tried, my back hurts and my knees hurt.  I sound old but I have had a crooked back for a while now.  And the knee is probably a hereditary trait as my mom had the same problems.  But in August of last year, I joined Planet Fitness and things were going fine until I messed up my back after my Asia trip.  So, I haven't really been back to the gym much, but I plan to go now that we are in a new year.  I've also signed up for Weight Watchers a few days before New Year, so at least I'm starting something before everybody else.  And of course, I'll need to eat healthier, and all that stuff.  
• Spiritual and Fellowship: I think I'm still kind of at this stage of questioning.  Last year, the questioning was a lot less but I think the "why's" are still in the back of my mind.  I still question the original sin.  I still question the actual essence of Jesus Christ and his connection to God, or rather the whole connection and relationship of the trinity.  For over a year now, I've parked myself at Mosaic Church (Charlotte), and although I enjoy the sermons and their general beliefs, I don't know if I will continue going to just the sermons, as I need a group to connect.  But their cast of characters can be awkward sometimes, and I don't know if I want to contribute to the awkwardness since I am usually a socially awkward person sometimes.  I think the biggest thing for me with regards to fellowship is being involved with a Facebook group called The Grownup's Table: A Community for Christian Singles.  It's been the biggest source of fellowship for me in 2024.  But although I enjoy being in the group, it also has its downs as well.  The group itself is made up of 3500 members worldwide, with the biggest groups in the Southeast.  Within the Charlotte region, there are at least 200 members, but most of them live in an area about 30-40 minutes from where I live.  So in response to that, I started having meals as a sub-group of the Charlotte group, in hopes that we would meet regularly and do stuff together.  Also through this Facebook group, I joined a Bible study that one of the members holds.  I have been going on and off in 2024, but I hope to commit and go continuously and as much as I can.

Korea's Got Seoul: Things I've Learned

About a month ago, I came back from vacation to Hong Kong and South Korea.  Since I've been to Hong Kong many times, it's not a culture shock to me anymore.  However, I've never been to South Korea, and surprisingly, it was a bit underwhelming.  But nonetheless, here are some things I learned about Seoul, South Korea:

1. There were so many coffee shops and a lot of bagel shops as well.  They even have a chain (at least in Seoul) called the London Bagel Museum.  I thought it was meh.  And there were the occasional Western/French bakeries, which I think Korea might have out-did France on this one.  There was a bakery I went to at the Incheon-Seoul International Airport that was pretty good.  It's sort of like Tour les Jour which is another Korean/French bakery that has an international presence.  There two Tour Les Jours in Charlotte.

2.  Restaurants serve cold water.  Maybe not ice water, but it was definitely cold.  (This is comparing to China and Hong Kong, where restaurants serve hot tea or hot water.)  Or maybe it was just Seoul, where there are a lot more tourists.

3. 7-11 sells cups of ice.  I don't think I saw cups of ice being sold at the 7-11's in Hong Kong.  Koreans really like cold drinks.  I had to buy a cup of ice one evening because I had left my drink out on the table, so it became room temperature.  It was nice to have iced soda.  

4. In Seoul, Uber partnered with the local taxi drivers.  You can still try to flag a taxi driver, but your best bet is to use Uber.  It's the same, or similar, price.  You can also use the subway system, but it was a little confusing and most everything was in the Korean language.  If you study the map, I think it may not be that hard to navigate Seoul via subway.

5. In observing the Korean people, they dress very proper.  I feel like they dress up more, even when they go out to the shopping malls, or to a local restaurant.  They are not slobs.  And their color schemes are more neutral, pale pastels, and blues.  No extreme colors that you may see in the U.S.

6. Korean food is a billion times better than what I had in the U.S.  My cousins, brother, and I had a lot of Korean barbecue, and a few times we had soup bowls or tofu bowls.  One time we had Korean bar food, which was interesting.  The first night, we had Korean fried chicken.  I think I was taking a shower, so when I came out, my brother and one of my cousins came back with some chicken.  My cousins and brother already ate most of it, so I guess it wasn't as crunchy as I had hope.  

7. We received a few text messages (in Korean) from the local Korean government.  It was strange, actually.  I had to take a screenshot and translate what was going on.  If my old phone hadn't died, I would share at least one of them in this blog.  But generally, the text was communicating that the few days we were there, they were exercising demonstrations leading up to their Armed Forces Day on October 1st, and not to be alarmed if you hear military airplanes.  But then, we were so close to North Korea, you never know...I guess this is normal for South Koreans.  At least we didn't get poop dropped on us.

8. The Sunday we were there, we walked to one of the royal palaces.  A church had set up service outdoors in the main street and blaring (in a nice way) "What a Friend We have in Jesus" (in Korean).  All of my cousins grew up going to church, and my brother and I have been to church as well, so we knew the song in the language we have learned it, and we felt that we were going to church on our way.  But to point out, South Korea is the one of the few democratic nations in Asia, and they have freedom of religion.  There are a lot of Christians in South Korea.  And it's the most Christian thing I've experienced outside of the United States.

9. Not-so-automatic doors!  But it is electronically operated.  Some stores in Korea, especially those facing the street, will have doors with a button on the door.  Instead of automatic doors, where there is a sensor at the top of the frame that sense people coming in or out, you have to push the button to open the door.  And then do not let the door shut on you!  It won't sense that someone is inside the frame of the doorway.  

10. It was so surprisingly... Western.  I was a little bit shocked to experience what I call "reverse culture shock" when you expect one thing but find out it to be very similar to the culture in which you came from.  And I don't know what the culture was like before the Korean War, but South Korea felt weirdly Western.  I may have to work and live amongst them long term to get the full effect, as I heard their work culture is extremely stressful, especially those who work in an office setting.  

I think that's all I can think of right now.  I think I may go back to South Korea some day and travel to other regions of the country.  I think I will get a lot more out of going to different places and experiencing other local cultures.

The Hope in Suffering

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

                            ~from Shakespeare's MacBeth, spoken by MacBeth

As someone who majored in engineering, I want to solve problems.

I want to have answers.

I want solutions.

But the problem with suffering are two things:

1. Why does God allow suffering?
2. And how is that the U.S. does not seem to suffer?

The last question is easier to answer.  In a Western society, people do not want to go through pain and suffering.  But when we are faced with adversity, we do not...

        ...lament

        ...grieve

        ... and vent

... our emotions and experiences properly.

We really do not want to face the suffering.  But when we do, we do not know how to process it.  We either stay silent or go into denial, saying everything is fine.

And the American church (and Western society) does a horrible job at teaching us how to lament properly.

Granted, folks in most Western society do not experience the same suffering as say people in Africa who are in famine and in poverty, or people in a war zone.  

At least even the poor in the U.S., there are shelters and places that the homeless can go for help.  Charities exist to assist and serve others in need.  In the U.S., we do not experience suffering the same way as other parts of the world.  We not only have poverty, but we do have diseases (cancer, heart diseases), we have mental crisis's, we have what we call "first world problems".

But in our journey of pain and suffering, we ask why is there pain and suffering?  If God is a good God, why does He allow these things to happen?

Trying to answer this question of lament contradicts the question.  In a study of Psalms at a beach retreat, I've learned that the Psalms just highlights the question of lament.  The why and more whys.

Carmen Joy Imes wrote in her book Being God's Image regarding suffering: Humans are not in a position to understand God's ways.  God does not owe us an explanation.  He just simply invites us to trust him.

So what do we do?  How should we properly lament?  (We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in pains of childbirth right up to the present. ~Romans 8:22).  In the book of Psalms, David and others lament all the time.  They cry out to God.  And in these laments, they also remember the characteristics of God, and what he has done.  In our lament, we have to remember what God has done.  Job believed he didn't deserve his suffering, yet God put him in his place and reminded him of His (God's) sovereignty.  

God created everything: the universe, the cosmos, the earth, and all living things.

Everything belongs to God.  Everything is spiritual.  Nothing is "secular," only things can be desecrated.

We cannot move forward until we move backwards...

        ...to our deepest roots of our faith.

        ...to refresh our vision towards the future.

And in the midst of the suffering, God also reminds us that Jesus will one day come back to bring heaven to earth and restore what has been desecrated.

Salvation comes from Jesus.

Redemption.

Reconciliation through his people.  Us.  Sharing the hope of a returning Jesus.

And then restoration.

It's the End of the World as We Know It (but Do You Feel Fine)?

I recently completed a book called The End of the World as You Know It by Matthew L. Halstead.  (It is the first of a number of books I'm reading, with the goal of reading at least four books this year.)  I like weird topics and I like to read weird books about weird topics.  Or at least topics that people don't seem to touch on a whole lot. As the book may imply, this is a book of eschatology.  And for those who don't know what "eschatology" means, it is the study or the topic about the end of the world.  I like to give a short summary of the book, but I also like to give my own personal views of the end of the world. 

I think in the Western culture, and at least the past century, there is a growing belief that Christians will be sucked into heaven.  There is also a debate when tribulation will start, when Christians will be taken to heaven, and when Jesus will return.  There is also a lot of discussions on the prophecies surrounding Jesus second coming and what leads up to these "predictions".

The book largely debunks all of them, and I think I also largely believe in a lot of what the author is writing even before I read this book.  Rather than writing a long blog, I rather do a bulletpoint summary of the book (and the summary is not in any particular order):

• Many folks today think Revelations is written to them.  Although, the Bible is written for a lot of people past and present, the main audience that Revelations was written to are the seven churches mentioned in the beginning of Revelations.  (Emphasizing "to", as Revelations is a letter written to different churches, much like Paul's letters to different churches.)
• Revelation is not only a letter, but also prophetic and apocalyptic.  But prophetic is not what we think.  It's not necessarily a prediction of the future but rather a declaration.  Same thing with the term apocalyptic: just a declaration.
• The "last days" written in much of the New Testament was referring to the time period of the 1st century Christians.  The first century Christians were under a lot of persecution, and they honestly thought they were living the last days of Christ.  The book of Revelations was written to comfort those who want to know when Jesus will return.  And as weird as Revelations might be to us 21st century folks, it wasn't weird to the 1st century Christians.
• Revelations was written such that the first century Christian understood its meaning.  Which is a bit bizarre to me but that's what this guy says.  The seven churches mentioned in the book of Revelations are real churches at the time.  The beast stood for Nero, the seven heads of the Beast were the seven mountains/hills of Rome, and so on.  It wasn't anything strange to the 1st century Christians.  I compare this much like our political cartoons of our time. There may be a lot of symbolism but it means something of our time.  
• Sorry, Christians won't get sucked into heaven.  Rather, Jesus will bring heaven down to earth.  In other words, Jesus will make earth a new earth, and it will be heaven.  Not some cloud in the sky.
• And about Jesus coming down from heaven.  It's going to be like a grand entrance.  Maybe he'll ride on a cloud.
• Tribulations is not going to start at some distance future.  It's already happening now.  Which means, this "seven years" is figurative.  
• The Beast mentioned in Revelation is/are just agents doing Satans work.  The Antichrist is not really one person but could be many people.  We really don't know.
• The mark of the Beast is whatever you want to believe it is.  It's just numbers where modern Christians want you to think it's evil.  Metaphorical, 666 does signify an imperfection but it's just numbers and does not necessarily spell doom.  But then Christians use the mark of righteousness, which is the Lamb of God, Jesus.  
• Jesus is the beginning and the end.  The Alpha and the Omega.  And Jesus not only is the end, he sums up the entire history of earth.  When Jesus came in human form the first time, it was the beginning of the end.  The end is not so much the event but it is the person, which is Jesus.  And yet, as it is stated in Matthew 24, we truly do not know the time or hour that Christ will return.
• Jesus is also the Third Temple and we are part of it already.  Many folks believe there will be a physical third Temple to be built in Jerusalem and it could very well possibly be built but I can't help but think that Jesus has already built a spiritual temple already for us.

My brutally honest opinion is that this book could be written more as a two or three part essay.  The author repeated himself or gone around circles on certain topics, which I think could have been shorten or at least eliminate the duplicate parts and sentences.  I largely believe this guy to a certain extent.  Here's my thoughts on end times (also in bullet points):

• As a person who majored in Mechanical Engineering (where we have to study thermodynamics and which is one of the foundation of studying about astronomy and astrophysics), I can't help but believed that our Earth will someday be consumed by the sun as a giant red star.  There is an imagery of "firey lakes" in the Bible and I truly believe that those who are left on Earth will see this.  The sun as a red giant star is the firey lake.  Although, by man's calculations, it will be in another 4 billion years and maybe we as species won't be here but if any intelligent life is left on Earth, well, the firey lake is coming at you.
• I really do think Jesus will come back but not in a way we think.  If we look at studies on space travel, it is quite possible that anyone who can travel at the light speed could go to space and come back in thousands of years and barely aged at all.  Maybe like the transporters on Star Trek, Jesus was "beamed up" to a space shuttle or became some kind of space dust to travel at the near speed of light.  
• As mentioned before, Jesus is the Third Temple.  It's being built and already built.  Maybe it's the space dust we're going to be a part of again.  There is a verse that I now find somewhat peculiar, is when Jesus says the Lord's prayer, "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be the name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  Whatever his "will" is done on earth, it is done in "heaven" as well.  Heaven itself can be loosely translated to "sky" or the "expanse" as explained in Genesis, or our known universe, not an actual place we think of, with angels with wings flying around with little hand held harps.  It could very well be space dust or even the new study of dark matter and dark energy, and whatever force it uses to expand the universe faster than light speed.
• Tribulations is now, but I think our hardships run in cycles.  There is a time of peace and there are times of war, and it's been a cycle of this throughout human history.  We may come to a time of peace again but with the way our technology is advancing, it's hard to ignore the speed of which our news circulate around the world, so we could be coming to a world of peace but not without a long time of hardships.
• A.I., robots, and androids.  It could very well be that our consciousness is uploaded to become a singularity and that could be our heaven.  Sounds kind of like the Matrix, right?  But if humans are ethical about this, robots taking over the world may not happen.
• The Universe could end in a few different ways.  It could go into a complete heat death where everything will stop moving, it could expand forever, it could self-implode and explode again, or our universe could be spawning new parallel universes and there could be multi-verses already.  But however the Universe ends, I hope I will become space dust.  From dust we came to dust we will return...

The Church of Jesus

Intro

For a good part of 2023 a few burning questions I had in the back of my mind:

• Why Jesus?
• Why did Jesus come when he did, in the middle of the Roman Empire?
• What is church?

I think many times, people talk about Paul's ministry and letters to the different fellowships of different cities.  Paul often instructed these different groups of people on how to conduct their meetings, rebuke them of their wrongs, but also encourage them of things they are doing right.  (And I'm being careful by calling these groups just fellowships because the English word "church" didn't appear until the 14th or 16th century [whichever source you may have found], and the word "ekklesia" was used by the Greek Christians and a work that was probably borrowed from the Greek.) 

But what was Jesus' true purpose for God's people?  Why did he come at this moment in earth's history? 

Jesus never meant to start a religion.  Yet his teachings have sprung a movement that is still going on until today.  What men strived to organize to be the church, some of these organizations has become legalistic institutes that have been divided into denominations and sects, just like the Jewish leaders of the time of Jesus.

The Life of Jesus in a Nutshell 

Let's start with Jesus, as everything starts with Jesus.  Jesus was born to a young couple, Joseph and Mary.  Jesus was born from a virgin woman.  It was thought that Joseph was a carpenter, so Jesus was also a carpenter with his earthly father.  After his miraculous birth, not much is known about his childhood except an account when he was about 10 or 12, he stayed at a temple (Luke 2:41-52).  We then fast forward to around the time he was maybe late 20's or 30 years old where his ministry began.  During his ministry, he gathered twelve men to be his disciples.  Even though he was always surrounded by people, his tightest group is these twelve men. 

And an important thing to point out: Jesus is/was single.  Not much is known if he ever had a girlfriend or a lady he courted or if he was ever married.  But just from reading scripture, all we know is that he's a single dude. 

The Environment of the Time of Jesus 

(A disclaimer before I move forward: I'm not historian and I am not a Bible scholar.  But how I'm going present this part of history is my personally understanding and may not be fully accurate.) 

Between the time of the book of Malachi in the Old Testament and the time of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), a lot of history happened, and by the time of the Gospels, the Romans were ruling much of the known world, including Israel.  I am not sure how credible this website is regarding the history of the Roman Empire in biblical times, but this pretty much summed up the history in a very broad sense.  The Romans, for the most part, left the Jewish leaders to rule themselves and over the common people.  It is a common misconception, at least in my own reading of the Gospels, that the Romans were the ones persecuting the Jews, but it's quite the opposite.  I believe what caused the most problem amongst the Jews are the Jewish leaders themselves.  There is probably no doubt that because the Romans left the Jews to rule themselves, as long as taxes were paid to Caesar, the Jewish leaders abused their powers and exploited the common people in Israel.  The Romans, in maintaining their "Pax Romana", taxed heavily and entrust this task to the Jewish leaders to enforce this heavy tax.  Not only that, the common people also have to tithe to their Jewish synagogues and priests, which they themselves have been known to be greedy and judgmental. 

Another aspect of this area of Israel is that it is a crossroads of many countries and cultures of their known world.  Europe and Rome had a much different culture than the Jews and the Middle East.  There might have been some knowledge of the far east (China, Korea, Japan, and other Asian nations), but from reading the Gospels, this was not evident.  Definitely, they did not know anything about the Americas but there were people there at the time. 

His Teachings and The Greatest Commandments 

Many of us who have read the gospels of Jesus may remember him turning water into wine (his first miracle), feeding the 5000, walking on water, healing the lepers, asking Zaccheus to come down from a tree, the Sermon on the Mount, inviting Matthew for dinner, and many other parables and miracles.  There were certain times he asks certain people to keep quiet, and other times, he asked them to go ahead and preach the good news. 

Each parable and lessons are presented around a different scenario in which we learn from depending on the situation and based on his audience.  But the ultimate lesson Jesus gave was the Greatest Commandments: love God and love people.  If you know Old Testament, the first part of the Great Commandments comes from Deuteronomy 6:4-5: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.  The second part of the Great Commandments is often called "The Golden Rule" and variations of this can be found in most other cultures and religions.  (Could it be that the Golden Rule and many other of his teachings were borrowed from other neighboring cultures?  That will be another blog for another day.)

Why Jesus? 

Why Jesus?  Why did God send Jesus?  Why hasn't God sent anyone else?  Going back into Genesis, God chose Abraham to be the father of the Jewish people and Jesus came through this lineage.  This was written in Matthew as well as Luke, although both traced their lineage somewhat differently.  God could very well choose the Buddha or Lao Tze or the Dahli Lama.  But God chose Jesus to be amongst a race of people who they themselves are sinful.  There was something about these people, that God created and chose to tell the story of Jesus.

I think there are a lot of things you can believe about in Jesus.  He is the Son of God and the Son of Man.  He is the Almighty.  He is the King of kings and Lord of lords.  He has died for our sins and was resurrected from the dead.  He also ascended to heaven.  In the book of John, it is written that Jesus is the Word of God.  A message.  An authority.  He was there in the beginning of creation.  However, even if you strip away even the physical words of Scripture, you get the essence and spirit that Jesus was one of the last, if not the last, figure in Earth's history that he must be a final summary to our search for an answer to our universe.  He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.

What is the church of Jesus?

If you ignore all the other writings in New Testament from after the book of Acts, and just focus on Jesus and his ministry, I think church could be a very different thing.  You see, Jesus surrounded himself with only a small group of men, and maybe with some additional assistance along the way.  Women also played an important role in his ministry.  Mary Magdalene, Phoebe, Priscilla, the Samaritan woman, the woman who was about to be stoned, to name a few.  There was also Jesus's mother Mary.  Without her, there wouldn't be a vessel which Jesus came into the world.  This is such an important aspect of Jesus.  Not only is he the Son of God but he's the Son of Man (of the lineage of Adam).  Where Eve came out of Adam, Jesus came out from Mary, a woman.  But besides the 12 disciples and a few others along the way, that was it.  No pastor, no deacons, no elders, and no hierarchy of leadership.   

Going to the book of Acts, we see that many early believers of Jesus often just gather together, breaking of bread, pray, sing and share with each other in their resources.  There are some churches that based their small groups around the passages in Acts 2:42. Many home or house churches have modeled their gathering based on this passage of Scripture.

Jesus never taught how people should organize themselves in the church.  There were no men and women ministry, or children's ministry, or a committee to vote on how to spend on the new fellowship hall, or how to put together a potluck.  Rather, he taught and shown the people of the time how to be better humans and how you should care for those who are poor, needy, sick, widowed, and who are different like the Gentiles and Samaritans.  But he also shows no partiality towards the leaders as he included those like Matthew, the tax collector, into his circle.  Jesus knew of the social inequality of the people of Israel created by organized religion and how religious leaders can exploit the common people if a government allows for such things to happen.  He knew that organized religion could be detrimental and damaging to the people of the Jews.

I think the Jews at the time had organize their leadership in a hierarchal fashion (again, I'm not a historian, so I need to fact check this but this is purely from speculation and observation of reading the Bible).  If you go back to the time of the books of Joshua, Judges, Ruth and the first part of 1st Samuel, you will find that the Israelite tribes were govern by judges and priest.  It wasn't until 1st Samuel 8 that the Hebrews asked for a king, like the kings of the surrounding nations around Israel.  When Paul wrote to the different fellowships in these different cities in the New Testament, often times the newly converted Christians will continue to operate the way they did in these types of leadership pecking order (because they didn't know better).  And to those who are Gentiles, they too copied whatever the Jews did.  So, Paul wrote his letters with this in mind on how to behave and conduct their fellowships and based on his own experience as a former Jewish leader. 

So, what does that mean for all of us?  I'm not saying leave your church and go create your own church. (I mean, you can, if you felt lead.)  I think if you felt lead by God to stay where you all, by all means, stay.  But I think Jesus spoke of a different church and that the church is the people who believed in him.  God and Jesus wants us to connect with each others, share in our resources, our faith and our lives.  Jesus doesn't just wants us to share the Gospel but to really share the Gospel of his Great Commandments by living it out daily.  And that, to me, I believe is what Jesus was striving for.  He could care less if there was another building built or how you organize yourselves or how your budget is doing or how many ministries and committees you have.  Jesus just cares about your heart and he gave up his life for it.  And I’m not just saying that to be cliché but having been through deconstruction, I am finally learning what being the church should really mean.  And finding that connection with people in the love of Christ should bring some meaning in you lives.

The one key difference in Christian living compared to other religions is that we do the things we do because Jesus did it first out of his love, and not to do things to earn anybody's favor or the favor of any other gods.  Even if you don't believe in Jesus resurrection and that he will come back again, at least know he was sent from God to share with us how to be kind and loving humans.